They take some chocolate chip cookie dough, throw it in a cast iron skillet and bake it for a little bit. Just enough to make it warm and gooey. Then they serve it to you with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and it’s pretty much the best thing I’ve ever had in my mouth. Except for that experimental time in my life, but that’s not what we are here to talk about.
I’m also not here to talk about The Orgasm. I want to talk about Cheeseburger pizza.
They had it on the Menu at Madame K’s, and it intrigued me, scared me, and made me just a touch horny. I never ordered it. I finally convinced my ever healthy eating special lady friend to eat poorly for a night so that we could experience this gastronomical adventure. I even checked their menu online, and it was still there. We were set.
We got there, and it was no longer on the menu. Whores. I mean, girls pretending to be whores. My heart was crushed, my stomach probably saved.
Well, I was finally fed up. I wanted a cheeseburger pizza, so I finally made one. Here’s how I did it.
I used the same pizza dough recipe I used for the Cup O’ Pizza, I just cut it in half. That recipe is for three 12“ thin crust pizzas. Here it is again in case you are too lazy to scroll down.
4 1/4C Flour
2 1/4 tsp fast acting yeast
1 1/2 tsp kosher salt
2 TBSP Olive Oil
1 3/4 C warm water (105 - 115 degrees)
Mix all that together in a bowl, knead it for a while until it’s done. Then stick it in a lightly oiled bowl and cover it for an hour or two, or until the ball of dough doubles in size.
Then you turn it into a pizza with some magic and wizardry.
There is no pizza sauce. I repeat, there is no pizza sauce. Wrap your head around that for a minute. Come back when you’re ready.
Ok, here’s what you use. Catsup. I spell it that way because I don’t like typing ketchup. I say it like ketchup but I spell it catsup. Isn’t that weird!?
Anyway, you use catsup and mustard.
I choose the swirl method.
Then you put some mozzerella cheese all up on it. ungh!
That’s my lady. Ain’t she pretty? Of course she is, it is me after all.
Next I throw down some ground beef and onions.
Man, I am getting so bald. I think I’ll grow it out all long and have an awesome bald guy mullet. We’ll see.
Next, we top it off with cheddah! Cheeseburgers usually have cheddar cheese, so that is what goes on this pizza, cause it’s like a theme, ya dig?
I put this in the oven for about 23 minutes at 375. I think I’d try a higher temperature with a lower time next time, the crust didn’t brown up too much.
After I took it out I sexed it up with some fresh tomatoes.
Oh man, it was tasty. We ate that. My special lady friend put pickles on hers because she is a disgusting animal, but whatever gets you off I guess.
There’s nothing like watching a fat dude eat pizza.
Also, lovely ladies.
I would have liked the pizza to be thinner and larger in diameter, but alas, I am currently without a pizza stone, so we were stuck with that thick crust pizza. But it was still awesome. It’s easy to do. Also, Madame K’s is closing I hear. It must be because they took the cheeseburger pizza off the menu. Whores.
