BBQ Sauce that is good

Here's the recipe for the BBQ sauce I use. I experimented around for a while until I found one that I liked. Other people like it too. It's fucking tasty.

Here's what you need

One Onion: Finely chopped
Four Garlic Cloves: Crushed
Two Habanero Peppers: Chopped (you can use more if you want to burn your butthole out. I prefer not to, but to each their own)

One Cup Water
Two Cups Ketchup
1/2 Cup Apple Cider Vinegar
1/4 Cup Vegetable Oil
1/4 Cup Worcestershire Sauce
1/3 Cup Brown Sugar
One TBSP honey
1/4 Cup Lemon juice
1 1/2 TBSP Chili Powder (I actually do closer to 2)
1/2 to 1 TBSP Ground Cumin
3-4 dashes of Louisiana hot sauce, or you know...a shit ton more.

Heat the veggie oil in a sauce pan until it's almost smoking. You don't want it too hot or you'll burn that shit and you'll end up with that horrible deep fried garlic fries smell you get whiffs of at Safeco field. Throw in the onions, garlic, and peppers. Cook them till they become soft and fragrant.

Mix everything else up in a bowl. Then pour that stuff that is in the bowl into the sauce pan with all the other stuff. Bring it to boil, then turn it way down and let it simmer for a while.

When you're done letting it simmer, take it off the heat. Strain all those onions and stuff out. Then put all that tasty sauce into a mason jar or something.

This sauce gets better with age, so make it a few days before you actually plan to use it. It's delicious.

It is Summer Time

Dear Dickheads,

I fucking hate the summer. Have you people ever seen me in real life? I'm big and hairy. I'm not built for the heat. I am built for the arctic tundra. I should be running around in snow shoes hunting rabbits with sticks while wearing nothing but moccasins. I'd survive because I am like a fucking cave man. A cave man that is incredibly handsome.

Anyway, it is summer. That means I get to break out my smoker and BBQ a bunch of dead animals and make them delicious. I'm breaking in Jamima, my smoker, this 4th of July weekend. I'll start sharing some of my BBQ recipes here. I know it's been a while since I updated this, but fuck you. I'm busy.

Sincerely,
Jonny Loser

This is where I introduce myself

I few weeks ago I threw a birthday party for myself and my good friend Brooke. We got to cook for, like, a shit ton of people. It was my first time cooking for a lot of people. I cook for my friends pretty often, and I do most of the cooking when we tailgate for football games. This was the first time I cooked for that many civilized people.

Brooke's older sister Brittany was in attendance. She liked my Mac & Cheese and asked me for the recipe, so I emailed it to her. She is a pastry chef, and apparently keeps a blog about food and stuff so people can look at it and become very hungry. She emailed me this. So that was pretty flattering. It has also inspired me to keep a food blog.

I am going to start blogging about the awesome food I am cooking and eating. I recently purchased the food grinder/sausage stuffer for my kitchenaid mixer. BE WARNED!